I was sitting in the hospital over the weekend due to having suicidal thoughts wondering why I was here again. I had just been admitted back in October of 2015 and put on medication, and after only 3 weeks I had come off the medication and had been handling my thoughts and emotions very well considering I was pregnant. Yet here I was again in the hospital seeking to be put back on my medication.
Needless to say I felt like a failure.
I felt inadequate as a wife because I was having a hard time handling life’s circumstances and stressors, I felt inadequate as a mother because I wanted to kill myself with my precious baby girl inside of me at 7 months pregnant, and I felt inadequate as a Christian because I had been neglecting my relationship with God.
As I sat in the hospital contemplating these things, my husband encouraged me to read my bible. He knew that I had been neglecting my relationship with God lately and that I needed some re-direction so he told me to read Ephesians 4 and that we would discuss it later. The verse that really jumped out at me and really encouraged me in that moment was Ephesians 4:29. Continue reading