My name is Tangiere Jones and I was born and raised in Alexandria, VA. I went to T.C. Williams High School (yes, the school from the movie Remember the Titans, woot woot!), I graduated from the illustrious Florida A&M University class of 2012, and I am married to the most awesome, patient, loving man in the world.
When it comes to my personal testimony, my walk with Christ so far has been a very interesting one filled with a lot of laughs and a lot of tears…….
The beginning of my journey with Christ starts with my senior year of high school.
This was a pivotal moment in my life because this was the year Satan tried to take me out before I had fully come into the knowledge of Christ. I had been raised in the church all my life so I knew of Christ and I knew a lot of scriptures, and even thought that I was saved, but nope, I was sinking deep in sin, very deeply stained within.
I had sunk into depression and anxiety, and even considered suicide. I thank God that the fear of not knowing where I would go if I committed suicide and me not wanting to break my mother’s heart kept me from acting on those thoughts, but it didn’t stop me from cutting myself.
I would cut myself as a way of expressing and transferring my pain, turning my emotional pain into physical pain as a relief from the emotional pain. The cause of my anguish was a combination of three things.
#1 was that I had already given my heart away a couple of times only to have it crushed and was not emotionally able to bear that kind of pain. Actually no one is, especially not a teenager, and if we would simply wait on God for our spouses, we wouldn’t have to go through that.
Basically my breakdown was a buildup of heartache that I had never fully expressed or let go, and it just erupted like a volcano. That’s what happens when you bottle things up inside.
#2 was a .generational curse. In short, a generational curse is something that is passed down through your blood line spiritually through demonic influence, or naturally through the way you were raised to think and process information. For example, you notice that almost all of the women in your family suffer from some type of mental issue, the cause of that could be a generational curse. The good news is that it can stop with you once you give your life over to Christ. Mental and emotional breakdowns, as well as anxiety, were some things that were passed down to me, but won’t get passed down to my kids because I’m breaking those chains.
#3 was that I had given up on God and didn’t realize it. I honestly felt, at one point in my life, like God couldn’t help me and that psychologists could do more for me than Jesus could.
Now, don’t get me wrong I did receive A LOT of help from talking to the school psychologist at the time and later to a Christian psychologist, but ultimately it was Jesus Christ who delivered me.
When you get to a state of hopelessness like I did and lose faith in the God who framed the world with his words, you have entered a very dark place that only the light of Jesus Christ can shine through, and that’s what he did for me.
When he showed me how I had given up on him and that that was the reason I was losing my mind, I confessed it to him and he forgave me and I took my first step closer to Jesus. But I still wasn’t there yet……
My “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” phase…….
In the midst of my senior mess I had a moment of clarity and decided to fill out applications to go to college. I thank God for the school psychologist at the time, Ms. Julia Tsadick, who did not allow me to ruin my future simply because of what I was going through at the moment. She made sure I filled out some college applications.
Fall ‘07’ is when I started my freshman year of college at Marymount University. I remember when I was in high school people would always tell me that because I lived a pretty sheltered life I was going to get loose when I went to college.
*me and my friends just hanging out having fun inside our dorm room at Marymount University in 2008*
Well, they were partially right. Somehow I managed to hold on to my virginity, but I still experimented with some things sexually because no one told me they were wrong. Because of that, my reasoning was, well, at least I’m not having sex, and by that I meant sexual intercourse. Of course I know better now.
I also began to indulge in drinking and getting high my freshman year. I loved getting drunk with my friends because I loved being in that altered state of mind. To me it felt good and I got to escape from reality for a couple of hours.
I thank God that he saw who I was going to become and didn’t allow anything to happen to me because during this period of my life I put myself in several situations that could have ended as horror stories.
Throughout this phase of my life God was still trying to draw me to him. I remember times when I would hear the voice of God say, “go read your bible,” and I would be like, “umm I don’t feel like it right now, I’ll read it later,” which I never did.
I knew it was God talking to me because throughout my childhood, I would have dreams that would actually happen and I would see visions of things then watch them unfold right in my face. Even though I knew that, I still had not internalized that God was talking to me and I was talking back to him and that we were conversing which is the beginning of a relationship.
My Turning Point………
At some point towards the end of my freshman year I began to think more and more about whether or not I would go to heaven if Jesus came back. I would always try to rationalize it to myself and say, “yea I’ma go because I’ve been going to church all my life and I know the word and I know Jesus died for me and stuff!”
But then I would look at my lifestyle and how, at the time, I wasn’t going to church, I wasn’t reading my bible, I was partying and drinking. I knew deep down that I was not living the life that represented Christ and I began to feel ashamed because I called myself a Christian but I was doing everything the world was doing.
The thing that finally made me decide to live for Christ was a saying that the Bishop I grew up under used to always say. He would say, “If you don’t know for sure that you’re going with Jesus when he comes back, then you’re probably not going.”
Now, I don’t remember what context he used to say that in, but that phrase right there just resonated within me because I was not sure but I knew that I wanted to go to heaven.
At age 19, summer of 2008, I made the decision to do what was necessary to be sure that I would go with Jesus when he came. I acknowledged that I was a sinner in need of Jesus’ saving grace and I repented of my sins, then I decided to live right to the best of my ability and live for Christ.
The moment I made that decision was the moment I got saved and I haven’t been the same since. I didn’t know at the time about having a relationship with Jesus so I just did the only thing I knew to do which was to go to church, pray more, read my bible more and stop intentionally doing things that I knew were wrong.
From there, the Lord took over and filled me with the Holy Ghost shortly after that. In the fall of 2008 I began my studies at Florida A&M University as a freshman once again, but this time I had a new mind and a determination to live for Christ.
*me and friends at a classy get together we threw while I was in college at FAMU in 2010*
My “Finding My Purpose” phase………
My years at FAMU were when I began to learn about having a relationship with God (where you talk to him and he actually talks back) and about praying in the spirit and doing spiritual warfare.
I began to spend more and more time in worship allowing God to pour into me and more and more time in his word allowing him to talk to me. I had a lot of scriptures in my head from growing up in a bible based church, but I didn’t know exactly where to find them, so my first bible study technique consisted of finding all of the scriptures I could remember pieces of.
It was because of this type of studying that a friend of mine later began to call me the bible dictionary because I could find almost any commonly quoted scripture she asked about, lol.
During this phase I remember fasting and praying asking God for what my purpose and calling in the ministry was, and just when I was about to give up, he told me I was an evangelist (who, me Lord?!), and shortly after that I preached my first two sermons entitled, “It’s Time to Stand on the Truth,” and “After the Warning Judgment Comes.”
Sounds pretty heavy I know, but that’s because during this period, Jesus was developing in me the gift of prophecy so he gave me two very prophetic messages to preach. Of course I couldn’t see that then.
During my four years at FAMU, God really began to grow me up and mature the various gifts he’d placed in me, and really teach me who he is and also who I was. He truly is my father and provider and all of the things I learned in college prepared me for where I am today.
*my big chop when I went natural in 2011. This was when I began to accept the way God created me, kinky hair and all.*
My “Growing Up” phase………
Where I am now is a season of constant change and growth. I have been married for a year and have had some of the best experiences of my life and some of the worst. I have gone through two miscarriages, dealt with depression and anxiety which sent me to the psych ward, and I’ve had to re-evaluate where I stand in my relationship with Christ on almost a daily basis.
I started working a full time job and got married all within 6 months so I stopped being able to have all of the free time that I once had to spend at God’s feet in his presence and study his word. Each day I have to figure out how to prioritize my time so that God comes first, I spend quality time with my husband, and I have time to recharge for myself. To be honest, a lot of times my relationship with God gets put on the back burner, but I’m so grateful for his patience and how he constantly reminds me to spend time with him when I let it fall down my list of priorities.
Every day I am learning that when it comes to my relationship with God it’s not always about quantity, but quality and I am learning how to apply the word of God to my life in real life situations. It’s not always easy, quite frankly it’s been pretty hard, but I thank God that his grace has been sufficient for me to get me through and he has not given up on me.
*my husband and I around Christmas of 2015.*
*after 2 miscarriages in 2015 God has finally blessed us with our rainbow baby due in July.*
With all of that being said………..
I hope this gave you an idea of who I am and how Jesus has been making the difference in my life. With this blog I really want to share with the world all of the things Jesus has taught me and is continuing to teach me because it is making me into a much better woman than I would become on my own.
I finally know what real love, real joy, and real peace feels like and I want you to experience it too, but it’s only through Jesus Christ that you can have it. If you haven’t made the decision to fully live for Christ, today is the best day to start because tomorrow is not promised.
All you have to do is repent of your sins (which means to turn away from them), believe and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and that God raised him from the dead (Rom 10:9), and decide that you want to live for him. Once you make that decision, if you haven’t already, go get baptized and ask Jesus to fill you with the Holy Ghost (Acts 2:38) , begin to read your bible and get into a church that is teaching the word of God and Jesus will take it from there. Trust me, I know.